Clear guidelines or boundaries
Though kids are notorious for pushing the limits of our boundaries, they are usually just doing one of two things: first, they are trying to figure out where the boundaries are, and second, they are seeing just how serious we are about them. Providing clear guidelines for your class is important. If kids don’t know what they can or cannot do, how can we reasonably expect them to obey? Each week in one of our programs, we review the guidelines, trying to put a fun spin or two on them. But, simply put, the guidelines we give are:
• Pay attention – you might miss something important!
• Participate – we want you to be part of the group, and what you contribute is important to us.
• Put your hand up – we want to hear what you have to say – it’s important – but we can’t hear if everyone just speaks out of turn.
Of course, when we give guidelines, we must follow through on our part, like providing something worth paying attention to, giving them well-prepared activities worthy of their participation, and giving them a chance to speak when they put their hand up.
Turn it over
The single greatest tool that we have that leads to instruction is the ability to turn it over to our Father in heaven! I saw this dramatically illustrated early in my ministry with a boy named Adrian. Adrian was “nothing but trouble” when it came to his behavior. Of course, when I discovered what his home life was like, I understood, but that didn’t help in the classroom. Nothing seemed to work! No matter what, our teachers dreaded seeing Adrian dropped off on Sunday morning. After trying everything we thought we knew how to do, we decided to simply pray. The teachers and I made a covenant to pray for Adrian every day, and to ask God not only to do a work in his life, but to do a work in ours. So we prayed, and after only two weeks, we began seeing a difference in Adrian’s life – something was happening! On the third Sunday, as I was cleaning up after church, Adrian quietly came in behind me, and, in almost a whisper, said, “Pastor Greg, I want to say I’m sorry.” Once I picked myself up off the floor and composed myself, I asked him what he wanted to apologize for. Again, in a very quiet voice, he said, “For all the things I’ve done to hurt Jesus and for all the things I’ve done to hurt others.” As I bit my lip to hold back the tears, I had the wonderful privilege of sharing the gospel, and leading Adrian to Christ that day, and seeing a life transformed. Over the next few months, as part of our church family, Adrian became a leader in the Sunday school because of his behavior.
We must be praying for our kids. Prayer is practical! Prayer should be as much a part of our preparation and presentation as any other component. And prayer can dramatically affect our discipline (instructing) situations. Prayer also changes our hearts, increasing patience, compassion, and understanding in all of our teaching efforts.
As we seek to “discipline” the kids God has blessed us with, let us also seek to instruct them. These tools, which all of us possess and can refine with a little practice, can be a great starting point.
Some Reasons Why Kids Misbehave Include:
• Because they are kids! Proverbs 22:15 (NLT) says, “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness…” Enough said!
• Because they have not received clear guidelines or boundaries – kids need guidelines, and even want them. Without them, insecurity creeps in, which often leads to misbehavior.
• Because they are bored – when we teach inappropriately (lecturing, not age-appropriate, inactively, etc.), kids get bored. Boredom leads to misbehavior as they try to find something to engage their mind.
• Because of outside issues – I put these issues in four categories:
• Hunger – some kids come to church hungry. They either didn’t eat enough, or they didn’t eat nutritional food before arriving.
• Health – parents will often drop off kids that should be home in bed!
• Home – some kids deal with so much at home that it inevitably comes out in their behavior.
• Helplessness – kids often just don’t know how to deal with things that happen, be it the death of a pet or being bullied at school. This helplessness can lead to misbehavior.
