Commit to pray for the youth ministry team. Offer help to them; use your talents, abilities, and giftings to serve them. Ask for their help and input. Learn to practice Romans 12:15 and rejoice with the accomplishments of others. Dare to be an encourager—even better yet, dare to be a friend. Proverbs 18:25 tells us, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” I think it’s also important for youth and children’s ministers to learn to share joyfully. In most churches it is a necessity to have to share rooms or facilities. That’s also true for resources and even workers. We should also go out of our way to share ideas. For this spirit of sharing to really exist, we must be willing to confront wrong thinking and actions and act as a peace maker (Romans 12:18). Admit when there is a problem and always be willing to work out all differences.
True, there have been problems on both sides. Children’s ministers don’t just dislike youth pastors; most youth pastors don’t esteem children’s ministers either. Neither do others in the church. When you boil it down, our society at large does not esteem those who work with children. It’s a shame what we pay teachers in our country. But we must do more than talk about it; we must give others a reason to esteem us! I think it’s time for youth pastors to view children’s ministry as a feeder program and work along side the children’s ministry to help strengthen it with their students helping out and learning about serving. The problem is, we children’s ministers see our ministry as an end instead of part of the preparation process.
As a team we must prepare kids for the youth ministry. The youth minister must prepare kids for college and life as a young adult. There is a big difference between renovation and new construction. In new construction, each trade works together to build the building based on the blueprints as a single unit working together! It’s up to me to remember our enemy is the devil, not each other.
So with all these things in mind, here’s five things that we all should be working together on to help the family succeed:
1. Start with the end in mind and work backwards to build a plan that will give your pastor the end result that he desires to turn children and teens into adult believers in your local church.
2. Create in children and students a hunger for the Word of God. There is a difference in Bible knowledge and a hunger for the Word. Love for the Word builds a love for Jesus. It’s more important that your young people love Jesus even more than love your church.
3. Help children and students understand the importance of spiritual service. Desire to train children for a lifetime of service. The way they should go includes serving and ministering to others! I just don’t know why more churches don’t realize that farm clubs work in more than major league baseball. The children’s ministry should feed everything the youth ministry is doing. The Youth ministry should use the children’s ministry as a training ground for teaching teens about serving.
4. Watch out for sibling rivalry. Speak highly of each other’s programs and help each other be better (iron sharpening iron). Make the kids look forward to being a part of the next ministry. How you lead laterally is just as important as how you lead in any other direction. Don’t compete for all the attention of the Pastor and the budget of the church; do everything you can to make everyone on the team look good!
Don’t think for one minute you build your self-worth by cutting down another minister. Don’t hog all the resources. Settle disagreements fast. This is a key for any lasting relationship.
5. Work together to connect with parents to be a better parent. Remember Deut. 6:6-7 “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Both teens and young children need models at home! They both need consistent and intentionality to leave a mark. Parents must take back the time God said was theirs: morning, bedtime, travel, when you sit at home.
Who wins when the children and youth pastors work together? Everybody does, especially the family!
