Have You Been Broken?

When I was in high school & college I lived & breathed soccer (as a result of spending my high school years in Australia).  If I wasn’t in class or working, I was most likely playing with friends or practicing.  I loved it & got to be pretty good.  I seemed to have a knack for scoring and had been urged by some to tryout for the San Diego Sockers practice squad (a local indoor professional team), which I was looking in to.

I went to a small Christian college that didn’t have a team when I first started.  However, in my Junior year we finally got a team with the plan to play exhibition games against other Christian colleges the first year and fully enter the league the following year (my Senior year).

We practiced hard and anticipated the first game. Finally the day came and we took the field on their beautiful campus that literally overlooked the Pacific ocean.  I was thrilled, though I knew we probably didn’t  have a chance.  We played hard but the other team was far better, racking up a 7 – 0 lead.  But we kept playing.

Finally, we had our chance.  My teammate made a beautiful pass through the middle and I was off and running, with only the goalie to beat.  As I approached the goal I poked it to the right, past the goalie and into the back of the net.  What a thrill!  The first goal in the history of our college!

As I turned to celebrate with my teammates, the goalie swore at me, punched his fist in the air and glared.  I could understand his competitive fire, but that seemed a little drastic – it’s just an exhibition game!  No matter, I enjoyed the moment and we started playing again.

Less than 5 minutes later I was off to the races again.  Another beautiful pass and all I had to do was get it past the goalie.  This time, however, was different.  As I raced to goal and he raced toward me, he didn’t dive to stop the ball.  No, he dove over the ball and into my legs.

CRACK!!!

My roommate, who played defense and was on the other end of the field about 75 yards away, said it was like putting a pencil up to your ear and breaking it.  That’s what my leg sounded like when it shattered in 3 places.

I was broken.  Needless to say, that was the last time I played competitive soccer.  It hurt, a lot! What hurt just as much was to find out a few days later that the goalie had done it on purpose. Apparently I was the second opposing player to end up in the hospital that season after scoring against him.  He was subsequently kicked off the team.

As a 20 year old who loved the game but couldn’t play any longer, it was a tough blow. I was pretty devastated and couldn’t understand how someone – especially someone from a Christian college – could do that to someone else over a silly goal.  And in an exhibition game even!

But it happens. People hurt people. Christians hurt Christians.

A couple of years ago it happened again.  Church “leaders” made some peculiar decisions that left our family devastated.  I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now – there were no real answers, nor any excuses, for how they chose to behave. Like trying to understand the goalie’s actions, it made no sense. But it didn’t matter. The results were the same – I was blindsided and broken.  Not physically this time, but emotionally and even spiritually.  It was devastating.

But it happens. People hurt people. Christians hurt Christians.

In the last couple of years I’ve heard many stories of people serving in ministry who have been hurt. The circumstances are different, but the results are similar.  Ministry is a hard place to be, especially if you are in a leadership position.  I was reminded recently of Ed Young‘s definition of ministry: “brutiful” (brutal + beautiful).  If you are called to it it’s a beautiful thing. You love it. You live and breath it. But it can be brutal. You will probably, at some point, get hurt.

You will probably be broken.

What I’ve learned, though, is broken is not a bad place to be.  Broken can be good – if you choose to let it be.

 

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Greg Baird is a Children’s Ministry veteran with over 20 years ministry experience. Greg has had the privilege of serving in four San Diego area churches, including under the leadership of both John Maxwell and David Jeremiah. He continues to fulfill his life calling through the ministry of ChildrensMinistryLeader.com, offering an experienced voice in equipping and connecting Children’s Ministry leaders around the country and around the world.