CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES
Parents express a great deal of concern when it comes to the choices kids make–and their natural consequences. They also worry about knowing their boundaries. How far do they go to protect their children from poor choices or the grim realities of our world?
• What are viable consequences for my kids’ poor choices, and how do I follow through consistently?
• How much freedom should I give my kids? How much should I shelter my kids?
• Should I stop “saving” my kids from the hard knocks in life?
• What will finally teach my kids to honor and respect me?
• I don’t know how to teach my kids about money.
• When should I let my kids fight their own battles, and when should I step in?
• My kids have an “it’s-all-about-me” mindset. What can I do to change that?
• I want my kids to learn personal responsibility and to know when they need to be willing to walk away from a friendship or situation that’s not healthy.
• How can I help my kids see that sometimes the friends they choose prompt the poor decisions they make?
• I can’t stand some of my child’s friends. How do I handle this without alienating my child?
Insight
Child development experts say that a parent’s role is to act as a mentor when children are faced with choices–small ones and big ones–knowing that the child will make many wrong or poor choices along the way. It’s the very experience of making choices–along with the patient and guiding voice of a mentor–that develops a child’s ability to discern good decisions from poor ones. The end goal of all this choosing is that the child will, by early adulthood, be equipped to make good choices. This opens the door for you to provide support to parents by helping them view themselves as mentors.
“Encourage and support parents in their role as mentor to their children,” advises Noonan. “Mentoring children is a lost art. And the passing on of Christian values, biblical truth, and cultivating personal faith doesn’t just happen. Mentoring is the act of engaging in authentic discipleship of children through purposeful and intentional parenting. Children’s ministers can support this process by ‘mentoring the mentors.’ How? By encouraging parents to be in God’s Word…by shoring up families with resources.”
You can also support families by crafting your ministry so kids get opportunities to make choices, mentor one another, and take on leadership roles. When you give kids a healthy forum to make choices and take the lead, you offer them the positive experience and feelings involved in making good choices.
