SPIRITUALITY
Parents have deep concerns about their children’s spirituality…most of which can be boiled down to one underlying question: Am I doing it right?
• How do I teach my kids about tithing when my husband doesn’t believe in it and refuses to practice it?
• How do I actually lead my kids to God?
• How will I know if my kids’ faith will last or if they’ll walk away from it later in life?
• How do I find a church that meets all our family’s needs? It seems impossible. I’m tired of jumping from church to church looking for a good fit.
• How do I effectively communicate my intimacy with God for my children to witness?
• I don’t want the church to raise my kids to be Christians…We do that as a family.
• How do I teach my kids to pray for others and not just for themselves?
• My kids don’t want anything to do with church. What can I do?
Insight
“The common denominator of the questions on the hearts of these parents is that they understand that it’s their God-given responsibility to raise and train their children,” observes Nelson. “It’s exciting that they want to be the ones equipped to train their children! These parents aren’t looking to pass off the discipling of their kids. Some churches have done away with children’s programs altogether, and others have gone the opposite direction and tried to train children without parental input. To avoid going to one extreme or the other, a children’s minister must recognize that parents must be supported and not replaced by the ministries of the church.”
PERSONAL NEEDS
Most parents confess to struggling with personal issues that impact their children. This area garnered a high number of responses, and it revealed some significant truths about parents’ needs. This sampling of responses offers a vista into the heart of parents everywhere–sadness, feelings of inadequacy, and deep questioning…all under the veneer of healthy, functioning families.
• My spouse and I have a very tense marriage. I know it hurts our kids, but I don’t know what to do.
• How do I accept the obvious reality that my children don’t embrace the same values I do?
• My spouse is emotionally disconnected from our family.
• How can I feel love for my child when his behavior is driving a wedge between us?
• Children changed our marriage; I feel closer to my kids than my spouse. I’m worried my marriage is empty.
• How do I keep my focus on my kids when my marriage is unraveling?
• How do I teach my kids about God when I have a LOT of unanswered questions–and my spouse doesn’t have faith at all?
• Am I failing as a spiritual leader to my kids?
• I’m extremely burnt-out on the same-old church routine. I don’t want to go anymore; I’d rather do home church with my kids. Is that bad?
• Our family barely gets by every week. Our kids have nothing, and we’re often short on food. I want to ask for help, but I don’t.
Insight
Your ministry is just as much to parents as it is to children. Never miss an opportunity to reach out to parents and point out all the good they’re doing. Provide support when parents do share a need. Build a relationship with moms and dads. Pray daily for them. And reach out when you sense someone is hurting–in the best case, you’ll be wrong and the person is fine; in the worst case, you’ll connect with someone who needs your prayer and emotional support.
