Can I Get Some Respect?
I’m pretty sure my Rodney Dangerfield quote went over a few heads, but it was worth a shot. I remember vividly the moment I realized my 25 years of existence and learned self-sufficiency was moot around my mother who emerged as my permaMom when I moved back home.
Parents mean well, but their well-meaning may get lost in the delivery. Brian* is a recent graduate living with his mom periodically after graduating from school. “If I said I was going to be awake by 7:20 a.m., I could expect my mom to be knocking on my door at 7:19 a.m. I appreciated the sentiment and knew she just didn’t want me to be late for anything, but at the same time, an alarm clock was enough to keep me from running late for four years—and an alarm clock alone still did the trick.”
Here’s my helpful hint: Ask your parents for a grace period of one week to prove to them you can handle yourself independently. It may feel childish—kind of like when you wanted to prove maturity to your parents by keeping your Tamagotchi alive longer than a week—but a trial period of a week free of parental pestering, nagging and “friendly reminders” will prove you’re capable of managing your own daily routine without two personal assistants.
You love your family. We know. They are the absolute best, and you wouldn’t trade them even for the chance to sit front row at every Marc Jacobs runway show for the rest of time (which is arguably the next most important thing after family). But, for the love of all things holy, if you have to attend one more holiday show for your mom’s cousin’s daughter’s elementary school or whatever, you may run away to the circus.
Your parents aren’t trying to be demanding of your time. They’re just trying to be inclusive. Trust me. You’ve come home to stay with them, and they want to make sure you feel like you fit right back into the mix. On top of that, they’re proud of you. You’re their successful college-educated child, and they’re probably going to want to parade you a bit in front of the extended family. (As a first generation American and college grad in my family, I might as well have worn a sash and crown for two weeks after graduation.)
That being said, where your time is concerned, there is a balance to be struck. Just because you’ve come home to live with your parents doesn’t mean your schedules are now one and the same—as in, just because dad has invited you to MMA night with the guys doesn’t mean you should have to feign an interest in it out of filial duty.
The Lord is at work redeeming and sanctifying a people for Himself.