1. Isolation from others. Regrettably some Christians do not make the Lord’s Day gathering a high priority. What’s more, some have very little contact with other believers during the week. It is very difficult to love other people when we are not with them. This also reveals a selfishness that we know suffocates brotherly love: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire.” (Prov. 18:1).
2. Disengagement. When we are with our brothers and sisters, we must be present with them. It is not enough to physically be there; we must actually be there. Consider a holiday gathering where Grandma is talking about her health or some stories from her youth only to have someone sitting there a few feet away scanning Facebook, reading the news or playing Candy Crush? In order to do the requisite heart work in the church family, we must be present not only physically but mentally, emotionally and most importantly—spiritually. Are you present with your church family?
3. Superficiality. We have to remember that Christian love, at its heart, is a redemptive love. This means that it is rooted in God saving us from our sin. This includes the sin of selfishness. When we love others, we are to be helping them to become more like Jesus Christ. If we are superficial, and by this I mean talking about all kinds of surface items, we will never get to the matters of the heart, the stuff that really matters. Superficiality will prevent the type of redemptive love that irritates (in the right sense) our sinful preoccupation with ourselves.
4. Unresolved conflict. When people have something against a brother or sister and they do not deal with the problem, it creates a wedge in the relationship. Unresolved conflict builds walls in relationship. Each day that passes is another brick in the wall of separation. When we do not deal with conflict, we have to understand that we are neither loving God nor are we loving our brothers. We are not loving God because we refuse to obey his commands, and we are not loving our brother or sister because we do not care enough about holiness in their lives to actually speak with them about it. I am sure you can see how this is self-worship instead of God worship.
5. Gossip. This is talking about someone behind their back rather than going and talking to the person. Oftentimes it is the defaming of the character by spreading lies about them. With gossip, the heart bent in on itself attempts to rid itself of any competition by cutting other people down with their tongues. Instead of speaking the truth in love, gossipers speak lies in pride.
If we are turned inward upon ourselves, we will not be given to the sacrifice and service of another. We cannot love self and others. We will love the one and hate the other.
On the night before he was crucified, our Lord washed his disciples’ feet. The king took on the culturally lowest form of a servant and he bathed them. This was demonstrating the type of service he has for his people. And, it was to be the type of service that is to characterize his followers.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
The one who gave everything to serve his family, even to his own death, calls us to reflect the same type of selfless, outward-looking love for his family, the church.
Because brotherly is so precious to God, it must be precious to us.
(This is an excerpt from a sermon titled “Let Brotherly Love Continue,” preached at Emmaus Bible Church—here is the link to the full message.)
