When you grow up as a Gen-Xer, cynicism is a badge of honor. It is part of your identity, and it is how you belong. Cynicism was the key that unlocked friendship with your peers, and you bonded with others based on your mutual disdain, disappointment, and hurt.
And we Gen-Xers had plenty of good reasons to be cynical. We saw plenty of bad marriages, corrupt leadership, dysfunctional churches, and absentee authority figures.
A strange thing happened along the way of my 30s. I started losing my cynicism. And I think a lot of my peers have, too.
My first question, in relationships, in church, and in life, is no longer “What is wrong with this?” I no longer think that my generation, or any generation, knows better than everyone else. I have started asking new questions like “What can I learn from this?” and “How is God at work in this situation or person that I don’t fully understand?”
I think that cynicism gets challenged when one or more of these four things happen:
- You get married.
- You have children.
- You become a leader.
- You realize that you are the church, not only someone who is influenced by the church.
It is in those stages that you are required to construct something, not just critique everything.
You become responsible for the well being of people other than yourself, and no spouse, parent, or leader wants cynicism for someone else. No one wants to raise a cynical child. No one wants their husband or wife to become more suspicious the longer they are married. No leader wants a group of followers with scowls on their faces. And no one wants a church built on a foundation of skepticism.
The shift from cynicism to hope can be abrupt.
