Home Pastors Articles for Pastors The Modesty Rules: Is a Woman Responsible for a Man’s Lust?

The Modesty Rules: Is a Woman Responsible for a Man’s Lust?

Lust certainly can have a sexual component, but when we reduce it merely to sexual reactions, we miss out on God’s heart for all people: infinite value.

In the book of Matthew, when Jesus said, “If you even look at a woman with lust …” he wasn’t condemning a physical sexual response as sinful, he was lifting up the inherent value of all women and men. The Sermon on the Mount repeatedly describes the worth of each person, no matter their circumstances.

I don’t think you dressing according to a set of modesty rules will ever stop another person from lusting.

In fact, nothing you do or do not do can influence lust in someone else.

Only Jesus can lovingly confront and heal a lustful heart through the working of the Holy Spirit. You can’t change anyone, control anyone, make someone sin or not sin, and you’re only responsible for taking your own heart to Jesus.

I’m asking you to pause and think about this issue differently than you may have encountered it before, especially if you grew up with the Modesty Rules on your side.

If anyone tells you that you are responsible for the hearts or minds or actions of any men or women, particularly with your clothing choices, don’t accept it!

If anyone uses Bible verses as weapons of condemnation and shame instead of building faith in the working of the Holy Spirit, don’t believe it. Real freedom comes from accepting the life of Christ as your own, which doesn’t mean lawlessness. It means love.

I believe we need to stop the conversations we’re having and the rules we’re making.

Expecting others to live by your Modesty Rules strips them of value in a way revealing clothing never can.

Thinking you are responsible for everyone causes more damage than wearing a deep-v shirt ever did.