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The One Sentence That Solves Every Conflict

By the way, If you disagree with this principle and are getting so fired up to tell me why your case is an exception, please note that the reason you feel that way is because you want something.

You want me to understand that your case is unique, and I don’t, so that bothers you because …

You’re not getting what you want.

See? No matter how you slice it, much of our conflict boils down to us wanting something and not getting it.

So what does this mean practically?

Glad you asked.

Next time you’re in conflict and things are about to escalate, I want you to stop and say this phrase out loud.

“You know what the problem is? I’m just not getting what I want.”

Are you kidding me, Sammy? You want me to admit that out loud?

Yes. I want you to forget/ignore the fluff, take the gloves off, and simply cut to the heart of the matter.

‘”You know what the problem is? I’m just not getting what I want.”

Those words don’t outright solve the problem, but what it does do is give you a little more time on the ticking time bomb that’s about to blow up.

They are some of the hardest words you’ll ever say, but it works. Thoughts on this principle?

Think back to that last conflict you thought of earlier. Don’t worry about who was right or wrong or why it happened. I just want to know, what was it that you REALLY wanted?

Me first. I wanted to be understood and I wanted you to sympathize with me. Your turn.