A satirical take on why preachers should use someone else's material.
EDITOR’S NOTE: In this satirical piece, Pastor Able Baker examines four unspoken reasons preachers might plagiarize another person’s sermon.
1. They are safe.
Just figure out who the most popular celebrity Bible teacher is among your congregation members and download his or her sermons.
Go for his or her oldest stuff first, then no one will catch on. Try to find all the material you can: books, videos, devotionals etc. … this will help you get a feel for what makes him or her safe and palatable for your listening audience.
Reprint his or her material with your name on it (change it enough so it’s not plagiarism; your congregation does not want plagiarism, they just want someone other than, well … you).
It’s not safe to labor hours on a passage all by yourself … just punt. Less people will get hurt, including you!
2. Saves time.
You don’t really know your congregation like you might think you do (sorry). Many in your congregation will let you know that after every one of YOUR sermons (after a couple of years at least).
Let the other guys do it. They are professionals. They make stuff that people will enjoy, maybe even laugh at. And because they know the Bible, many of them know your congregation inside and out as well. Hey, that’s a good thing … right?
Besides, think about it. How many people make real “Mac and Cheese” anymore? We have all let Kraft do it for us for years.
Why? Because it saves time and it tastes better!
So GO spend more time with your family, without all the stress and empathy that comes along with a real pastoral heart. Just download a manuscript and let it fly!
Saves you time and stress, and your approval rating will skyrocket. You will never preach a poor sermon again (at least not your own)!
3. You can say, “Hey, I didn’t say it, talk with him!”
Think about it. No one will really disagree with you. They can’t because they have no clue what you think like, believe, etc.
If anyone is frustrated, you can always say, “Hey, you should really read ‘ — fill in the blank — ’. They believe the same thing I do.”
Most people will appreciate how biblical your sermons are as well, if you find a pastor who likes to put a lot of Bible verses in his or her sermons. Then you can actually say, “Hey, I didn’t say it, talk with ‘him’.” See what I’m saying? The benefits are awesome!
4. You can choose and copy successful and cool mega church pastors.
Here is the big kicker! If you Google “biggest churches in North America” chances are one or more of those pastors has his or her sermons posted online! Do you understand what that means?!
You can actually be a successful mega church pastor! You don’t even need a mega church.