What Does Restoration Look Like?
Restoration, of course, should require counseling for both the pastor and his wife, as they are both wounded. This should be done with someone who understands the mind, life and frustrations of a pastor, as well as someone who is clinically trained in crisis marriage therapy.
However, first and foremost, restoration looks like advocacy.
1 John 2:1 says, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father — Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.” So we’re not supposed to sin, we get it. But because of our human condition, we do. That’s the reason John encourages us about Jesus being our advocate.
But what exactly is an advocate?
It’s a defender, one who supports and sympathizes; one allied in a struggle or cause, a faithful trusted friend. This person will dedicate himself or herself unconditionally to you as you walk through the dark days in your life. Even though we may disagree with what they’ve done, still, we are called to love them through agape and champion their cause to the place of full restoration. When people malign them, you champion them as a friend and believer.
Look at Jesus’ words in John 15:12: “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” That means for us to esteem that person with unconditional, selfless agape. Without true advocacy, a call by leadership to establish a restorative program for a fallen pastor will be about as short lived as it was with Ted Haggard. Most of these men said farewell when the road darkened for Ted and Gayle.
No restoration is effective unless advocacy is the foundation on which you’re building.
Remember, Jesus didn’t disqualify Peter for his sin of blasphemy in John 21; instead, because of Peter’s repentant heart, Jesus re-commissioned him to the work of the Gospel as an apostle: ”Tend my lambs, shepherd my sheep.”
Sadly, too many in evangelical leadership entertain the removal of a pastor who has fallen more than they do a plan to restore him.
Really? Is this how Jesus taught us to treat each other? Certainly, there are circumstances that may call for a pastor to step down. But if there is not a dedicated agape/advocacy-based restorative plan to help this man and his family walk through their pain, then those in leadership have failed to be leaders.
