Having spent a lot of time with seminary students and young pastors over the past 10 years, I find it’s getting easier to identify those whom the Lord is most likely to use to bless and build his church in pastoral ministry.
The Lord is sovereign, of course, and can blow all our analysis and predictions out of the water, but usually He uses “ordinary” means. And EQ is one of the major means. (Have a look at the comments on the Rookie Pastor article for vivid confirmation.)
Which raises a huge question: How can we train for this?
Robert Anderson offers one suggestion in The Effective Pastor:
In the seminary in which I teach, as a part of a course in philosophy of ministry I regularly bring in our assistant librarian to teach a class in etiquette.
Unfortunately, it probably is one of the classes that is received the most poorly. I say unfortunately because it is the class that often is needed the most.
Not many of our graduates fail in the ministry because they fall prey to doctrinal errors. Numbers, however, have made an improper impact on the ministry simply because they are “klutzes,” are continually making themselves offensive to people — and they will not change.
If they learned a few social graces in addition, and were able to remember to express gratitude to people for every kind action no matter how small, they would be making major progress toward becoming the type of respectable person the Bible demands for the position of pastor.
The person who basks in his crudeness and considers it a necessary part of his “macho” image probably should seek another vocation besides the pastorate.
Etiquette classes? Hmmm.
One friend I mentioned this to suggested “living in the Proverbs more, having mentors, and having friends who are willing to critique and correct you in love.”
I agree wholeheartedly and would add:
