That’s the question Josh Tandy, a real rookie pastor, asks here.
I have a simple two letter answer.
EQ.
Or rather, the lack of it.
EQ is the emotional equivalent of IQ. Sometimes called “emotional intelligence” or “social intelligence,” and the lack of it is the primary reason for the majority of pastoral failures.
That’s right, the main reason for rookie pastors getting fired or, even worse, rookie pastors destroying a church, is not intellectual, moral or theological failure, but failure in basic common sense humanity.
We’ve all seen it, haven’t we: Exceptionally clever, technically skilled and self-disciplined people utterly fail in pastoral ministry. They just couldn’t connect with people at even the most basic levels:
Saying hello/goodbye/please/thank you (especially “thank you”).
Asking people, “How are you?” (and waiting for an answer).
Being friendly.
Remembering names.
Showing interest in people’s children.
Listening without interrupting.
Teachability (especially learning from elders).
Apologizing for failings.
Avoiding unnecessary offense.
ABOVE ALL — Understanding the vital difference between what you say and what people hear.
