How are you talking about sex at your church (or with your kids … or with your friends) these days?
Or are you talking about it?
Sometimes when we don’t know what to say, we say nothing. Or we say the wrong thing.
Yet our culture is talking about sex every … single … day. And increasingly, they’re talking about how the church is talking about it.
The way we talk about sex, marriage and family is coming under greater and greater scrutiny.
This is true whether Christians are addressing same-sex attraction, sex outside of marriage or marriage itself.
For the record, I believe that the context God designed for sex is between a man and woman, married to each other for life.
I also realize that fewer and fewer people share that conviction with each passing year. Increasingly, the view I hold is the view of a small minority. I understand that.
But the fact that some church leaders hold a minority view means the way we talk about it becomes more important every year.
Consequently, I’m convinced that how we talk about sex needs to change.
Given the tone of some of the current dialogue, the damage done by the way we talk about sex may actually rival the damage done by sex outside of marriage itself (or inside marriage … married sex isn’t always harmless sex).
I don’t say that lightly.
So what needs to change?
I’m not sure anyone’s cracked the code on this, but here are a few things I think could help us create a dialogue that helps more and hurts less in the church.
1. Don’t just talk about sexual sin, talk about church sin too.
Everyone has sins they focus on and sins they ignore.
The tendency, of course, is to focus on the sins of others and ignore your own.
The church is no different.
So here’s a proposal:
Deal with the church sin everyone in the church seems to tolerate.
