What advice would you give your younger self? Thinking through that question can allow a new generation to learn from the journey of those who have gone before and have the scars to show for it.
Several years ago Episcopalian priest Peter Wallace published 52 things he would have told his younger self. Among those:
It’s a good thing that we don’t know everything that’s going to happen to us. (2)
Your hard work in school will be worth it. But come on, don’t kill yourself. (4)
Engage in self-reflection, but don’t let it become self-deception. (30)
You can’t pray too much. (38)
“Things I would tell my younger self” is another way to say “here as some things I’ve learned along the way.” Those of us who are older need to remember how much we can teach younger people if we will do it humbly.
If I could go back in time, here are the four things I would tell my younger self.
First, be cautious with whom you choose to work—an unhealthy Christian organization will impact you as well.
Why would I mention this point as my first? Simply put, your time is irreplaceable and you are to steward it, so chose wisely with whom you will partner and work. I would have saved years of challenges if I had known then what I know now.
Too many people remain in unhealthy working environments because they think in doing so they’re accomplishing something good. This is especially true in ministry and in Christian organizations, too, unfortunately. You will suffer long-term harm if you remain with a leader who runs roughshod over people and destroys lives. Value learning and value those that are a part of God’s process of refining you, but don’t be part of a system and a culture that hurts people.
(See my series on unhealthy Christian organizations, how to survive them and how the organizations might right the ship.)
My advice, bearing in mind your own prayerful consideration, would be to just get out of situations that are unhealthy. When what you do changes who you are, you need to change what you do.
Second, don’t worry so much about what people think.
Be more concerned about the Lord, who is to be honored above all in your life. God alone is the judge of our life and His Spirit is the measure of our hearts, motives and actions.
When we want to please everyone, we have a hard time saying no to requests. This can quickly lead to burnout, as well as hurting your close family and friends. You don’t have to be a jerk about it, but a gracious person can decline requests to focus on those areas of ministry to which God has specifically called them.
