Been reading Ronald Rolheiser’s Forgotten Among the Lilies: Learning to Love Beyond Our Fears. In one of the chapters, Fr. Rolheiser gives a beautiful answer to the question:
“What is real love?”
“Real love is always a coming home, it is not a place we deserve or earn, it is coming to a place where you sense others will love you without necessarily being impressed with you.“
“Thus real love is always experienced as a security, a safe place, home, a safe harbor which we sail into. It is a place of rest.”
On infatuation and all the other “feelings” that sometimes feel like real love:
“…in spite of the excitement and obsession, after we have had our fix we need to, and want to, go home. That person’s heart can never, ultimately, be home for us.”
“Ultimately, if we cannot really be of one heart and mind with someone, however interesting and exciting that person may be, then that other will become just part of our world and we will grow apart and go our separate ways, that is, to our separate homes.”
“…that place where we do not have to impress or perform, or earn or win, where we feel safe and secure and where we are at home.“
Are you at home with the person you love?
