This is a guest post from Jeff Goins. Jeff is a writer, speaker, and blogger. Jeff has also become a friend, and I’ve enjoyed the times to hang out with him. He’s a sharp young mind you should get to know. You can find him on Twitter (@jeffgoins) or on Facebook. For a limited time, you can get a copy of his eBook The Writer’s Manifesto free at his blog.
Here are some thoughts from Jeff:
A friend once said: “Your best leaders will always frustrate you.” He was talking about leadership and vision and delegation. I’ve been thinking about those words ever since he said them — about how I respond to leadership and about how I lead and influence others.
It’s taught me some important lessons.
1. You must trust your leaders
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sometimes frustrated by leaders over me. Often, I don’t have enough context to see the big picture, and sometimes, they’re wrong. But most of the time, I just don’t want to be challenged.
Growth hurts, and we all prefer comfort. But I’ve learned that if I’m working with someone who occasionally frustrates me by pushing me and believing more in me than I do, then I’m working with a good leader. And I’ve learned to trust that.
If you can’t trust that your leader is challenging and pushing you for the right reasons, then you have an issue that needs to be resolved. Either you quit or learn to trust him.
2. Good leaders aren’t afraid to challenge people
Good leaders specialize in calling people out. Sure, they need to do so with grace and care, but the bottom line is this: Leaders challenge people to step out of their comfort zones.
For most people, it’s not fun to be uncomfortable. It requires change and sacrifice and really hard work.
If you’re afraid of challenging people, then you’re not cut out to be a leader. A leader must care more about helping people grow than being liked.
3. Being a leader requires you to make people uncomfortable
Leadership isn’t just about making everyone feel good about themselves all the time. (However, encouragement and affirmation are important parts of the job.)
Great leadership is about seeing potential in people and challenging them to realize it.
The leader’s responsibility is to guide his team to a new level — where strength and perseverance are tested and refined.
Leaders intentionally develop those under their influence. They relationally invest into their lives and walk through important decisions together. When there is resistance, they lean into the situation, offering a loving rebuke when necessary.
Ready to lead?
Whether you lead a family or run an entire organization, you’re in for some frustrating work. Not only will those whom you lead frustrate you, but those that lead you will do the same. It’s part of the job.
Leaders challenge people. There is no way around it. They upset the status quo. They offend and frustrate. But more than anything, they help you grow.
If you’re an influencer — someone who wants to help move and motivate people to make a difference — you need to challenge people. You need to frustrate. Make people mad. Risk getting fired. (Trust me; if you get fired for challenging the status quo, there are better places to work.)
As scary as this is, it’s the only way to do meaningful work. Sometimes, you have to make people mad. Not for the sake of being a jerk, but to lead people into a new understanding of themselves.
A note for followers
If you’re following a leader (and most of us are), consider the implications of this idea. Ask your manager or a peer to challenge you — even to the point of frustration. Offer to work with them to help you change and grow.
I guarantee they’ll more than appreciate the request. Wouldn’t you?
So here’s a question for you: Are you frustrating people…or not leading at all?
Thanks Jeff. I so much agree (and identify) with this post. I know I frustrate those I lead, and I’ve been frustrated in the past with the best of leaders. What about you? Do you agree with Jeff’s premise?
