Do You Make These 4 Mistakes When Disagreeing?

by Heather Goodman  If you’re in a conversation with someone about some way of thinking you think they need to see from your perspective, the following statements are unhelpful and bad form: 1. “You can only understand what I’m saying by revelation.” (Gee, what are they supposed to do with THAT?) 2. “You need to go […]

by Heather Goodman 

If you’re in a conversation with someone about some way of thinking you think they need to see from your perspective, the following statements are unhelpful and bad form:

1. “You can only understand what I’m saying by revelation.” (Gee, what are they supposed to do with THAT?)

2. “You need to go research a bit and then come back and talk to me.” (How do you know they haven’t researched this topic more than YOU and *still* see it differently than you do? Don’t make assumptions!)

3. “You need to stop thinking so much/get out of your head/stop being so intellectual about this.” (What that usually means is that you are weak at explaining your position, so you’d rather the person just swallow what you are trying to teach them without thinking much about it.)

4. “I used to think like you on that topic – but God set me free.” (Do you know how this sets up your own experience/perception as the authority and puts the other person beneath you as you are the expert and they are still in your prior “childish” state?)

Frank Viola Frank Viola is a popular conference speaker and the best-selling author of numerous books on the deeper Christian life, including "Revise Us Again," "From Eternity to Here," "Epic Jesus," and "Jesus Manifesto" (co-authored with Leonard Sweet). His blog, "Beyond Evangelical," is rated as one of the most popular in Christian circles today: www.frankviola.org If you wish to comment on this post, please post it directly on www.frankviola.org

More from Frank Viola or visit Frank at http://www.FrankViola.org

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