Like most husbands, I like to connect with my wife at the end of the day. I hear about her daily adventures, listen to her work through decisions, and all the while, I’m thinking about how to solve all her conundrums. I am a Mr. Fix It.
My “Mr. Fix It” approach has improved over the years. I’m learning (present tense) to set aside my instinct to solve everything and be a better listener. I’ve found that with my wife, friends, and others, they simply want to put words to their feelings, not necessarily have me looking for missing puzzle pieces.
If you’re like me, a Mr. Fix-It, don’t be a tool. Instead, reach for these tools in your relationship toolbox and put them to good use.
1) ASK QUESTIONS
Mr. Fix-Its are prone to answer quickly, but a better strategy is to ask questions.
Even if we think we know the answer, we need to allow others to journey there, too. Providing quick answers to someone’s dilemma is like blindfolding them on the journey to their destination. Instead, allow them to see the road, the markers, the turns, the landmarks along the way from their problem to the solution.
2) ADMIT SHORTCOMINGS
No one likes a know-it-all. Mainly, because they think they know-it-all (honestly, who does?). Regardless of your intentions, Mr. Fix Its can come across like arrogant jerks. So how do you help your mate without coming across wrong?
Admit shortcomings.
Listen, you’re not perfect, and your spouse knows that more than anyone. And by sharing your struggles, mistakes, or frustrations, you come across as more human. This makes you more relatable and invites others to open up more with you. Your words hold more meaning because they aren’t coming from up-on-high, but from beside. Which is where we’re supposed to be anyway.
