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When a Small Group Leader Should Shut Up

by Rick Howerton

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When a Small Group Leader Should Shut Up

Rick Howerton and James 3 give great advice on when small group leaders should remain silent.

Small group leaders, even small group hosts, must be wise leaders. If they jump into every conversation they may, 1) diminish their influence, 2) keep group members from talking through differences of opinion and conflicting ideas, 3) hinder someone from speaking who has something important to say or 4) begin to be perceived not as a leader but as a dictator.

No matter how we cut it, there are times when a small group leader should remain silent. Five of them are listed below.

1. When the issue is none of your business.

2. When your speaking will only give an argumentative person ideological ammunition to shoot back at you.

3. When you have information that is to be kept confidential.

4. When someone else in the meeting will most likely say what you're thinking.

5. When your emotions may take over and you'll say something you'll later regret having said or you'll say it in a tone that keeps the message from being heard.

Small group leader, you might want to read James 3:1 – 10 below.

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

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Rick has one passion... To see “a biblical small group within walking distance of every person on the planet.” He is presentlythe Global Small Group Environmentalist at NavPress Publishing. Rick has authored or co-authored multiple books, studies, and leader training resources including Destination Community: Small Group Ministry Manual, The Gospel and the Truth: Living the Message of Jesus, Small Group Life Ministry Manual: A New Approach to Small Groups, Redeeming the Tears: a Journey Through Grief and Loss, Small Group Life: Kingdom, Small Group Kickoff Retreat: Experiential Training for Small Group Leaders, and Great Beginnings: Your First Small Group Study. Rick’s varied ministry experiences as a collegiate pastor, small group pastor, teaching pastor, full-time trainer and church consultant, as well as having been a successful church planter gives him a perspective of church life that is all-encompassing and multi-dimensional. Rick is a highly sought after communicator and trainer speaking at or leading training in forty settings annually.