Recently I started a series of blog posts that are vital to the transformation of group members. I mentioned that, “Leading a small group in this era demands we recognize the boxes that are holding small group members captive. There are three reasons, 1) the only way they will be set free is if a small group leader knows what those boxes are and aids in freeing the small group member being held captive, 2) because we live in an age of very attainable information, many small group members will realize that some expectations are heaped upon them by someone other than God and rebellion will rear its ugly head, 3) when an small group discusses some issues a small group member may push back hard, and sometimes they should.
Another confining and debilitating box is the local church box. The Local Church Box is built each time a local church creates stated or unstated expectations for those who are part of that one body of believers, expectations that go beyond biblical expectations. This box has a profound effect on those who attend that church or who have attended that church. Because those making the decisions for a particular body of believers are often in close-knit relationship with those they are making decisions for, a declaration that hits home embarrasses the church member deeply and often drives the stake even deeper into the heart of the individual who is pointed out or questions the trumped up expectation.
For instance, I remember talking with a small group leader after a conference I had led. The small group leader was heart-broken that her young adult son had declared he would never go back to church again, ever. The church leadership in that small rural church had been taken down a path toward a more contemporary worship style. For a period, the church had a band that led worship on Sunday mornings. After the ouster of the lead pastor the church took a vote and drums would never be allowed in that church again. Some had even declared during a planned public meeting that drums were satanic. This small group leader’s son was the drummer.
But it’s not just issues of this nature that are box builders. Even membership expectations that are outside the realm of biblical expectations can throw someone into the local church box. And when this happens some are then driven to probe the edges of the insanity for an escape route. I once bought a truck from a man who attended a church whose pastor announced that God had told him that every household was to give $3,000.00 to the building program. Here’s what happened… As this young believer and I were talking about the truck he asked what I did for a living. I told him that I had been in ministry throughout my adult life. He asked me this question, “Is it right for a pastor to tell each church member how much to give to a building program? My wife and I already tithe.”
When local church boxes are built and people are forced into them, the levels of bondage are overwhelming. Individuals forced into this box carry heavy loads placed on them by those who mean well but miss the mark. Many a Christian counselor has spent multiple sessions with someone who has been forced into the local church box. This due to the fact that what is often determined to be “an important addition to the Constitution an By-Laws” is in actuality a passive form of spiritual abuse.
