I’m a worship pastor.
It’s what I do,
what I know,
who I’ve been created to be.
But as of late, some things have been stirring inside of me that leave me unsettled.
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you are. “
Over the last 4 months this has been the phrase resonating in my life. What does it mean to invite and then give someone access to your life? I was raised to think in order to have someone enter your life you had to be this engineered version of yourself.
This concept transfers even to dating relationships. Being on your “best” behavior was something you’d do to potentially win over the one. If they were impressed enough with this well-mannered perfect version of yourself you would begin the dating process. Once you got engaged then married, slowly but surely you discover who the person really is. You discover the routines or the lack of routines in his or her life. You begin to discover where this person’s time and energy goes outside of living from event to event. You’re enlightened to the small states of being that actually define who the person is.
I’m beginning to let people see who I really am. It’s not that I’ve yet to do this, but it has now become me making the decision to do it intentionally. It’s easier to simply pass on information and never let people see behind the curtain of where the information is coming from.
The true calling of discipleship leads to someone actually wanting to imitate the patterns of Jesus in your life. Paul puts it this way: “Imitate me as I imitate Jesus.” Some of the big questions I’ve been asking myself are the following:
-Is my life worth imitating?
-Would it benefit the world to have people imitating my life?
-Would the Kingdom of God advance (people saved, healed, delivered, loved?)
-And in the same vein…”Who do I have in my life that I’m imitating?”