Women: How Do You Know if He’s the One?
How do you know if the guy you’re dating is “the One”? Will you “just know”?
The scary part about marriage is most people make this decision of gargantuan proportion in love, which by definition means your mind is hazy from all the 3 a.m. make outs and the sheer thrill of thinking no one has ever loved like this before.
Dating Michael for me meant my journal entries were frequent and swirly, with emotional statements in all caps like “MICHAEL DEAN IS THE GREATEST ... AND HE LOVES ME!” I will tell you that I knew he was “the One” the first month we started talking; he knew I was “the One” after he saw me perform a Taylor Swift song with some kids I was babysitting. Long story.
But how do you know? How do you know if the man you are dating is the person you should spend the rest of your life waking up next to?
We’ll talk more about this in Real Men Don’t Text (which is now just $7 at Amazon and Barnes and Noble), but it isn’t necessarily true that you’ll just know when you meet him. The ability to discern if your guy is right for you depends on who you’ve dated in the past and whether or not you know what a good relationship looks like.
For example, if you’ve only dated players or even mediocre guys in the past and suddenly you decide your boyfriend is “the One,” I would caution you to take a step back and really evaluate. Sure, he may be better than all the other guys you’ve ever dated ... but you don’t marry better, you marry BEST. Amen from the married ladies?
Let’s look at a few characteristics of “the One”:
1. Your friends and family agree.
Most of them, at least. If most of your friends and family think your guy brings out the best in you and will be a great person to start a life with, that is a very good sign you might have found “the One.”
You’ll want to be careful here with extremes. If everyone in your life has raised concern—parents, friends and most people who know you well—I promise they are not trying to bully you; only to care for you because they can often see red flags that you can’t. But it’s unreasonable to think that everyone will agree with your decision, so don’t worry if just a handful of people don’t like his taste in music or his career.
Is he trustworthy? Kind? Forgiving?
Character makes marriages stand the test of time. Character is who he is when no one is looking.
Does he do what is right or what is easy? Men of high character bring out the best in you. Are you a better version of yourself since meeting him? Will the two of you be better together rather than apart? These are all great questions to consider in making this choice.
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