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Jessica Rey from Q Ideas: “Within the construct of modesty, there is a freedom—modesty isn’t about covering up what’s bad, but about revealing dignity.”
Well said, Jessica. I pray to God that he will bless your work greatly.
I’m one great step ahead in confidence about being modest. Growing up not being allowed to wear bikini’s has been kind of hard at times, especially when you go to the beach and people come up to you asking why you’re not wearing a bikini. But I can honestly not thank my parents enough. This year I finally decided instead of feeling embarrassed or avoiding the beach, that I’d embrace being modest and be confident about it. And seeing this video has really helped me realise and understand why even though I felt uncomfortable at times being asked why Im covered up, deep down the thought of walking about basically in waterproof underwear seemed so daunting. I hope many other girls will realise this and those who have that conviction will not be fazed by what others say.
Wow. This is so encouraging. You have a true gift from God and I pray he’ll give you many opportunities to express it. You clear away so much cultural clutter and pull the focus to what it means to be created in God’s image.
Finally a young lady who has been able to encouragingly tackle the concept of modesty. May God bless you Jessica! Excellently done, you can see the sincerity in what you not only say but have done.
Here is a young lady who speaks what should be “common sense” – especially to parents of young girls. Frankly, I’m some what appalled by what i see as “acceptable attire” for young girls – even purchased for them by their parents. What is acceptable now is due to the a lack of personal respect in place of “wanting to belong.” Every time I see a young girl tugging at her low slung jeans or shorts, I think, “if they were large enough, you would not have to be doing that.” The same goes for the various “tank” tops that “just won’t say in place” for modesty. I’m old enough to not care, but I haven’t always been so – and neither are their teenaged boy friends.
I appreciate what Jessica is doing and support her, but also realize that there is a tidal wave of “dis” that she will face from young girls and their moms. I am a mother of five, four of them girls, ages 24 to 11. I have always had my girls wear either a one-piece, or a two-piece tankini that covers their midriff. It’s amazing (and sad) to me how little modesty is even a consideration for Christian families. My girls have been the ONLY ones wearing modest bathing suits at any and all swimming events with their friends and church groups, and we live in a coastal town, so that is something they do a lot. Unfortunately, most moms do not think they need to cover their girls because the moms wear inappropriate and immodest clothing, as well. Thankfully, they now make the choice on their own to wear modest bathing suits, as they have never gotten comfortable with wearing bikinis because they never wore them young. “Train up a child….” ….you get the point. It would be really helpful if families in ministry would consider this as an option, as well.
I understand that she likes to dress moderately but if women want to wear risque outfits, then let them. It’s their choice. Just because you don’t think it’s right doesn’t mean it isn’t. Some women like feeling sexy in their clothes and some women wear showy clothes because they like it rather than to just show off. It’s not bad, it’s great that they’re embracing themselves. And I’m not necessarily saying this girl is but stuff like this has led so much to slut shaming it’s honestly ridiculous. People from churches are preaching about loving others but then they slam a girl for wearing certain things, maybe that’s what they want to do. Some women dress modestly, some women dress boldly, it’s their choice and their choice only.
When has the choices of human beings ever being the reference point of modesty, sin or what is RIGHT? The Bible preaches expressly on the importance of not being a ‘tool’ of destruction. If Paul could say, “Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.” 1 Cor 8:13, and he was just referring to what we eat, much more is expected about what we wear and how we treat our body as God’s temple. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own – 1 Cor 6:19″. A woman could remain bare or look sexy, but that would be to please her husband only, lest she leads men to sin as Jesus tell us, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.- Matt 5:28″. Knowing the truth and letting the Spirit of God make choices for us would only do us good and give us true freedom. “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. – John 8:32″
Actually, Jesus says if you struggle with lust, “pluck your own eye out.” No woman “leads men to sin” by what she wears. Our culture sexualizes and objectifies women, and men blame women for it rather than blaming a society that views women as objects. Jesus got this, and didn’t ask what the woman being lusted after was wearing. He didn’t ensure her skirt went past her fingertips. He didn’t ensure her shirt strap was three fingers wide. He merely said “pluck your eye out.” He squarely places the blame where it belongs.
I like the video, but she comes to the wrong conclusions. It’s not the bikini that causes men to associate women with objects, it’s the culture that teaches men to do that. It’s the advertisements, the movies, the shows, the talking heads, and so often, the misguided church members that pour into that. If every woman wore the cute bathing suits Jessica Rey sells, but no one addresses the problem within culture, men would associate that with objects and you’d be telling off those women for their lack of modesty.
Well said. Good argument. There is no chance for one gender(either male or female) to cast blame on the other, as we all know the media and pornography among others also aid in the destruction of the mind. But we are to be careful to make sure that our conscious actions and inactions do not, in anyway, distract our fellow sister/brother from the path of righteousness. Jesus also added in Matt 18:6 that, “”If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
I get what you’re saying, and I appreciate your response. However, how come that verse only ever comes out when it comes to modesty? I’ve never seen someone say to someone with brownies at a Church Potluck “I struggle with gluttony; you’re causing me to sin right now.”
In fact, I’d argue the bigger issue is the guilt and blame that gets placed squarely on women’s shoulders frequently causes -them- to stumble. Why do we only protect our sons? This is an issue that, if you’re a woman, you’re going to face. A friend of mine was 12 when an adult male came up and said to her “Your pants are too tight. They’re causing me to sin.” What’s the real issue here? A subjective look at “modesty” that no one agrees on anyway (not to mention ignores that when the Bible is addressing modesty, it’s addressing consumption and materialism and where the heart is, not arbitrary lines of what’s “too much skin”), or filling children with guilt and shame?
I have never heard a male pastor address this issue without using guilt or shame or making weird conclusions (“she’s just advertising for sex,” “she’s wearing so little to cover up so much” [maybe she's just really warm?] “she doesn’t respect herself”) and yet I never hear it the other way. I never hear anyone critique the culture and call out the way we’ve raised guys to treat and view women. No one ever considers what this shame and guilt is doing, but trust me, from the bottom of my heart, it’s pushing a wedge between girls and feeling loved, and that is certainly causing women to stumble in their faith.
We should not expect a person, who is not indwelled by God’s Holy Spirit, to understand the biblical concepts presented by this woman. 1 Corinthians says it is “foolishness” to worldly people. The evidence for this truth is seen in some of the responses here. They don’t get it, nor should we expect them to get it. These things are “spiritually discerned.”
Good job! Keep up the good and godly work!
This is great! WE NEED TO KEEP PREACHING RIGHTEOUSNESS IN THE MIDST OF AN UNRIGHTEOUS WORLD. A standard must be kept by those who truly know their God. They will lead many to righteousness and “shine like the stars forever”! Thank you so much for this wonderful presentation!
Even the Bible teaches us as women to dress modestly….a lot of men
look at girls who dress in an indecent way and lust in their heart, so
therefore that woman has caused sin to enter into his heart and she is
as guilty as he is…Bible talks about that also…the sad part is, yes
do what you want too it is your choice, but only the holy will inherit
the kingdom of God…God is holy..without holiness, no man shall see
God…..It appears Alex you are a man….so naturally you would think
Brenda, sin doesn’t enter our hearts, it’s a choice of what we keep there. It’s a process “drawn away…etc” If someone can CAUSE sin to enter me I am a slave to sin & I think Jesus freed us from that. We must make choices however..that’s where sin enters…MY choice. NOBODY else’s.
there is a manner of wearing swimsuits in vulgar way or beautifully.
if the swimsuit enhances her beauty, I would appreciate it. it depends too how the person wearing it carries herself.
So why the high heels? Why the bear arms and knees? Why the long hair carefully draped over her shoulder? She seems to want to appeal to the eyes, but she “preaches” just the opposite.
To fit into society. She would stand out so much and be judged if she wore a full body suit in this society. She discusses this very matter at minute 7. Plus, in all honestly, we all have seem much more revealing outfits that this one. >.>
So… society dictates decency?
She is dressed modestly by the fact that her chest area isn’t exposed and her dress isn’t cut right below her butt. It’s possible to be modest and appealing.
By definition, it’s NOT possible to be BOTH modest AND appealing.
By definition? Whose definition? If you find modesty appealing then what happens to your definition?
You seem incapable of making the distinction between modesty and appearance.
I rest my case.
It’s BARE arms. If there’s a BEAR it is looking to be “Barbie’s Ken” If you find knees & arms & long hair so enticing that you can’t control your sexual urges you’ve got a worse problem than some sinners I know. knees/ really? Please move to Saudi Arabia where you will not be lured by such sexual parts of God;s beautiful creation.
My point is simple and not sinful… high heels serve no purpose other than to accentuate the legs and give a false impression of height… that’s hypocritical considering her speech. Her outfit and her hair were intentionally styled to make her look more appealing… that too would be hypocritical. “Bare” or “bear,” you knew what I meant. Try adding some punctuation to your critique of someone else’s writing… It would also be “God’s” and not “God;s…” and therein lies the most hypocritical part of your reply.
BTW (by the way)… Why do you think God created women?
God created woman as a partner for man (helper: not a subservient role. It is the same word as in “the Lord is my helper”).
Why is everything blamed on the woman? It is a man’s sin if he lusts. Next you will be saying that its a womans fault if she is raped! Besides, I have seen a lot more obscenity in men than in women. Why doesn’t that ever get talked about? I have seen many men who are the ultimate in disgusting! Why does nobody preach at them?
There is such a thing as the point to a story. She has something to say. Don’t blame her for not saying everything. As for men, we can read the Bible. Everything about sin in there is said to men. As for preaching, try Jonathan Edwards’ “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” That was to men, too. It was the sin of Adam, it was David’s sin (Bathsheba had to bear the consequences, but the Bible never blames her). The woman taken in adultery was not condemned. Rahab was praised. Yet there’s plenty of blame for men in Scripture. Let’s think about what she said, not about what she did not.
Because it’s the MEN who are preaching. It’s lack of self control & dirty minds that cause lust. Rape is NEVER a woman’s fault & society must face the fact that each person is in control of his/her self. The church has become as big a bunch of victim minded souls as the unbelievers. I live in a hot state & we are used to seeing skin which doesn’t “cause” sin. Sin is a choice of each man/woman.
“It is a man’s sin if he lusts.” That is true. But woe to those through whom things that cause others to stumble come. Paul said, “If what I eat causes my brother to sin, then I will never eat meat again, so that I won’t cause my brother to sin.” This isn’t a recipe for foreseeing every possible way ones clothing could be misconstrued, for Paul also said, “Eat whatever is given to you without raising questions.” But if someone said, “That meat was offered in sacrifice to an idol,” then he felt it best not to eat–even if it was permissible for him. Man or woman, we are responsible to help our brothers and sisters along. Our role is one of advocate, not adversary. Let the devil be the devil and tempt whom he pleases, but for all of us, let’s be God’s instruments to curb each others sinful inclinations and not encourage them.
Again, this isn’t to become a slave to a weaker brother or sister, but to watch out for each other.
I also understand that this is VERY relative. What Jessica Rey is wearing on stage would be considered HIGHLY inappropriate by a great majority of Muslim-background believers in Christ–not to mention her line of swimwear.
I think Jessica Rey made some very good points and in truth I believe modesty is mostly a state of mind and heart rather than a particular item of clothing. I wish this young woman the best of success in her venture.
I remember attending church with my parents when I would go back to visit and almost every Sunday the pastor would preach on and on and on about short skirts and tight sweaters and bikinis and how evil they were and he would pull out a portion of a verse as a proof text to prove he was right…. and I found that I noticed such things more and more… it was as if he caused those in his congregation to hyper-focus on such things…. but then what I noticed is that when I got away from that and started attending a church that was teaching through the Bible a book at a time and the emphasis was on how do I live and how do I have the heart and mind of Christ, I started seeing people more as creations of God and souls in need of Him.
Holiness is a matter of our relationship with the living Savior and involves our heart/soul and mind. Modesty is part of that. When we are focused on Him we see others from a different perspective. I know that there are a lot of brothers and sisters who believe that holiness is a matter of clothing and make-up and jewelry and hair style and length, but I believe that Scripture teaches that holiness is having the heart and mind of Christ our Savior. I have known some groups of people whose women wear dresses to swim and who think that makes them modest, but then they also feel superior and self-righteous and have very condemning attitude toward others who do not agree with them… to the point of being hateful. They forget that God looks upon the heart and judges who we are inside. On the other hand, having pastored in a coastal warm climate community, where we had Bible studies and services on the beach I can say that some of those searching most after the heart of God would have been condemned as immodest sinners in some church circles. I am just glad that God looks upon the heart and judges us by what He sees there.
With regard to men and the concept that women cause them to sin… I once attended a Christian men’s conference and I will always remember the speaker saying that if men looked into women’s eyes while they were talking to them, it would not matter if they were wearing burqas or bikinis, and it would probably force both parties to be more honest. I know when I practice that, I find that I am a much better man.
You know, It’s amazing that this even has to be discussed with all this scientific research to prove what the Bible tells us. We are to honour God with our bodies because they are the temple of the Holy Spirit. I agree that there are some twisted minds out there that will lust after a nun in full attire but we are talking about how what we wear affects the regular person, even more so a fellow believer. Yes, the Bible tells us that we must change the way we think by renewing our hearts and minds but the Bible also says if eating meat causes my brother to fall into sin then I will not do it so it goes both ways. The problem is that we as followers of Christ want to look , talk, act just like every one else but we can’t, the rules are different for us. The Bible says that we are supposed to be a new creation, the original language meaning something that has never ben seen before on the face of the earth. We are also instructed to be a peculiar people …….. we are supposed to be different. What’s the motive for wearing a garment in the first place? To look sexy? to attract the attention of the opposite sex? and this goes both ways, especially for the guys who like to stroll down the beach in a speedo and soak in the lustful stares of the ladies. How are we representing Christ? We are supposed to honour God with our temples, it’s the least we can do (your reasonable service).
The talk that she shared about modesty has good insights but she herself doesn’t dress modesty. Not even covering her arms. In the Middle East–we are not allowed to wear short dress and sleeveless. Dress modestly. Yes, women should dress modestly as Paul suggested. The reason why women dress provocatively–=because they are insecure –they are attracting the attention of men to love them. But this is not the way of doing it.
If you have a good relationship with God–you have a changed heart and that your outside will also be changed. Women should dress up accordingly. You are created by God plain and simple –but you make yourself too complicated. Read God’s Word. Obey God.
In the middle east you cover everything because men are trained to see women as objects for their own use, not because of modesty. Self-controil & a renewed pure mind are what Jesus taught. Sad that men’s virtues are not emphasized more than a woman’s responsibility to hide her body.
“men are trained to see women as objects for their own use, not because of modesty”
….You don’t think the exact same thing happens in the West? That’s exactly why men see women as objects when they see pictures of women in bikinis. 1/5 women are raped in the US. You really think that we haven’t taught men to sexualize and objectify women here?
The First Thing I thought when I saw here was, “wow, she’s adorable and so modest!”
We often forget that Biblical modesty includes far more than how much of our body is exposed or enhanced. It also includes issues such as the cost of the outfit, jewelry (and the cost of it), whether the colors and patterns of the clothing say, “Look at me!”, etc. I think about an old song many years ago which said, “Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show?” The point of how we present ourselves is whether we are representing Christ or ourselves. In the Corporate world, company representatives and employees are frequently held to certain standards of dress so as to represent the company professionally. We are representing the King of the Universe, so shouldn’t we do all we can to represent Him well?
Great video. I love how she solved the problem by designing her own suits. I find most ladies don’t look good in bikinis anyway. I love those suits. I’m going to check out that book!
Wonderful idea! My wife and daughters had a difficult time finding respectable bathing suits over the years. Here is a young lady who saw the need for respectable bathing suits and now markets them. Fantastic! Lets support her business.
Great infomercial. Nice bathing suits. Revealing dignity is a beautiful thought & more men should think about the dignity of the one before them & treat her with such. the way we think of & treat others speaks more about ourselves than the one before us. (Jesus is our example here) & should a man cover his body in a bathing suit as well? One man below found the speaker’s hair, knees (barely visible) & gasp…ARMS were bare. Should this same standard be imposed on men so women will not be made to “sin” (as some below maintain)? Read the comments below & decide if the thinking is from renewed minds or “fallen”. The Islamic religion places all responsibility for “honor” on females. It is very sad that men would be so frail as to place the heavy weight of their own honor & dignity & righteousness on the “weaker sex”. Did not Christ teach us a higher way? At some point gentlemen you must actually believe in your own salvation. Our behavior proves out our conversion…..or not. & just for the legalists…I have always worn a one piece bathing suit as did my girls. I did it so the creepy guys (many church goers) wouldn’t imagine doing filthy things to us NOT. Thank God I am not married to one of them…or one of the less than clean thinking men below. Really guys. Jesus can change everything in your heads & hearts. The self-control & “bringing every thought to obey Christ” is something you have to do for yourself.
No one can make another to sin. Everyone decides for themselves if they will please God or not in all things.
Does anyone know the name of her swimsuit company? Or the website?
what is done in the middle east ,or it’s religions; has absolutely no bearing on anything discussed in reference to anything christian
You are truly a lady of great courage and decency. I really enjoyed your presentation. The Lord richly bless you and live forever.
Great video for all parents and young adults to take 5 minutes to view regarding who inspires the need for girls and women to wear “itsy bitsy polka dot bikinis?” Is it society or actually today parents who set the tone for their daughters to dress as they dress as they grow up. Modesty standards are rooted in the parents nurturing of the children. Listen to video and let me know if you agree. World view influence is given too much credit and parental influence given too little credit on the issue of sexuality and modesty guidelines.
Thanks for sharing your view of modesty..and yes, I agree that it’s better to dress modestly. Most men respect women more who don’t reveal their bodies in bikinis or mini-skirts or dresses. We have always taught our daughters to dress modestly and in stylish clothes. Honestly, it’s the inward heart issues that matter the most.
Yikes! I cannot believe that people can call those swimsuits modest! I looked at them, and (I am a woman, by the way), with the incredibly low necks and high skirts/shorts, complete with sexily posed models, those are anything but modest! Those are designed to entice, to show off, and to laugh in the face of modesty!
Half of the people here are arguing that it’s a man’s responsibility to keep his thoughts under control, and half are arguing for modesty. But modesty is not about anyone but the person wearing the clothing! Modesty is clothing, attitude, poise, jewelry, and much more. Jewelry shows off wealth, but non-flashy decor can show respectability. Poise can show off rebelliousness (sin), or it can show grace. Attitude can show disrespect (sin), or it can show reverence. Clothing can show off sexiness, or it can cover shame.
Clothing, we remember, was invented to cover human’s shame: shame not felt until sin was realized. Sexy clothing says, “I am unashamed of my sin! I rebel against authority, including God!”. Reverent clothing says, “I have sinned, and I bear this as a remembrance of it.” Look nice, look pretty, but don’t look sexy. Modesty has gotten quite a slamming…maybe it would be easier to understand if we talked about dressing respectably, or dressing with humility. Only those who act, dress, speak, and move with reverent humility can truly be called modest.
By the way men, this means you, too!
You’re right; no belly buttons but just about everything else!
You say that clothing was invented to cover humans’ shame, but why should women feel that their bodies are shameful? You also said that, “Reverent clothing says, ‘I have sinned, and I bear this as a remembrance of it.'” Are you suggesting that all women who wear immodest clothing have committed a sin? I disagree. And in that case, where do we draw the line? Are women who wear “very immodest” clothing more sinful that those who wear”moderately immodest” clothing?
I’d also like to note that being and feeling sexy is not a sin nor a rebellion against God. A woman can feel sexy when wearing modest clothing. Does that mean that regardless of what a woman is wearing, when she feels sexy, she is admitting to sin and should feel shame?
Just went to her swimwear website…BEAUTIFUL!!!! Till you see the prices of course…would LOVE to wear those but my bank account says differently…so much cheaper to buy the LESS fabric suits Everything that is meant for good or healthier for us is always so pricey and out of reach for the majority! But all the stuff that is harmful to us and disgraceful is affordable to all. Well, the upper middle class & rich will be looking fancy this summer…some.
This is an old advertisement clip. Really people, get a grip & get a life, & get a life of honor toward humans of the other sex. Women have been held responsible for evil men’s thoughts & behaviors for far too long. She’s selling stuff here..hello!!! there are bathing suits in Walmart just as “modest”.
FINALLY!!! She’s 100% correct! Society has been brainwashed over the past fifty years into believing it’s good to reveal more – wrong! Ladies, it’s classy to leave more to the imagination and wearing clothing that covers more says a lot about you – it says you’re not desperate for male attention. And finally someone has the spine to speak out about it.
Soooo…you think men should be imagining things?
I just can’t believe your that naïve….really?
Hey, man…cut me some slack here… I just don’t know what “leaving more to the imagination” means. I’ve heard it tossed around a lot: “It leaves nothing to the imagination.” What does that even mean?
It references tight or even ‘no’ clothing vs loose clothing. If a woman (or even a man these days) is wearing next to nothing and showing a lot of her (or his) body, what little is actually covered can easily be imagined by other people who observe that person. However, if the woman (or man…) were wearing loose fitting clothes, then there is less “observation” by other people and those special parts of the body are not being flaunted. A person would have to place more effort into the imagination part to come up with a mental picture of what their naked body looks like. I guess this is worst explanation, but if this forum were not a public one, I could explain in more detail.
Oh! Ok…that makes sense now. I’d always seen that thrown around and thought, “So you want me to make up things in my mind about what’s not shown?” Got it. Thanks.
Thank you young lady, women are created to compliment men not be objects for satisfaction
iT SADDENS ME TO SEE SUCH INSECURITYIN WOMEN OF TODAY. I WAS ONE OF THE CHILDREN OF THE SIXTIES AND REMEMBER THIS VERY WELL. STILL HAVE ONE OF THOSE SUITS I WEAR NOW …REVEALS NOTHING BUT IMAGINATION AFTER THE COLORS DIE DOWN LOL
This is one of the reasons the Muslims raise such a fuss over “Western decadence”.
In many ways, culture determines modesty. Women in some parts of Africa expose their breasts and yet are not considered immodest by the men living there. A woman wearing pants that cover her ankles would be considered immodest in certain places in the world because she has worn an article of clothing that reveals the shape of her legs. Let’s not forget that Paul commanded the women of his time to cover their long hair or be thought of as indecent. Men are responsible for guarding their own hearts and as long as women are dressed in a culturally modest fashion, they are dressing modestly.
“You said women in some part of Africa expose their breasts and yet are not considered immodest..” Name the country please and I will tell you the truth about them. Typical Africa Women don’t expose those parts of their bodies meant to be covered.
“Men are responsible for guarding their own hearts”… Yes, but they are not alone responsible for their thoughts or acts: “Give no offense, either to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God,..” (1Cor. 10:32). So, please, ladies, dress yourself in such a way that is not sexy, but certainly elegant and respectful.
Modesty: not purposely drawing attention to the body.
Modesty: Not purposely drawing attention to oneself at all.
Nice cover for an informercial. Not going to even comment on the content, but props to this lady for “creativity in advertising.”
I just looked at the website and frankly I am disappointed with what I saw. Just because your bathing suits don’t show the belly button does not make them modest, they are mostly sexy, and prices are unreasonably high and immodest (Lol)
@Anonymous, you said it well and to add we also dress to show how arrogant we are as well,@Pastor CSL and @Coach_Brown:disqus , I really appreciate your comments. Parents set the tone for their children, in today’s society even little girls are dressed is a provoking manner. God help us!! Interestingly enough we live in a world where bedroom attires have become public attires and because the mind is so engrossed with sex everything we do has got to be sexy, but where is the common sense? Christ our True Model is the One we need to follow, His examples are pure and elevating. We can’t go wrong by following Him.
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