“As Christians we are obsessed with being nice.” It was this one sentence Jason Royce said in his talk at the Youthwork Summit last weekend that got stuck in my head. I kept thinking about it and the more I thought about it, the more I realized he is right.
We Christians are obsessed with being nice. We want people to like us, we don’t want to offend anyone, we don’t want to come across as too radical or too much of a fundamentalist, we want everyone to know that we respect their religious beliefs even though we don’t agree with them and in general we just want people to feel good when they’re around us. Because isn’t that what Jesus did, what He showed us?
Erm, no, not exactly. Jesus wasn’t nice all the time at all. He cleansed the temple with quite some force, He wasn’t afraid to tell people the truth (‘white washed tombstones’, that’s not exactly nice to say to people, now isn’t it?), He was extremely radical (He called Himself the only way to the Father!) and He constantly confronted people with their attitudes and their sins. Not exactly nice.
And yes, He did love people. So much in fact, that He was willing to die for us all. But it didn’t keep Him from boldly speaking the truth, from showing strong boundaries, from being crystal clear in what He wanted people to do and from confronting sin where ever He went. That’s the example we should follow.
Speak the truth
We should never let anything keep us from speaking the truth about who we are, what we are and Whom we believe in. Yes, we live in a culture where being radical isn’t always appreciated. So be it. I think a radical message will always attract more people than a lukewarm one. If we present Christianity as ‘one more road’ people can take, they will cut-and-paste parts they like and create their own personal religion. We need to be very clear about the fact that Jesus is the one and only way to God and that no one can come to God outside of Him.
Show strong boundaries
Jesus knew when to say no, when to withdraw and take time for Himself, how to prioritize. He spent more time with His 12 disciples than with anyone else, and He didn’t apologize for it. We need to do the same. Communicate your boundaries to your young people and to your team. Learn to say no. Sometimes saying no to requests, suggestions or actions is the biggest act of love you could show. Learn to prioritize and don’t apologize for it.
