Pornography isn’t just a private struggle—it’s a cultural epidemic shaping how millions see intimacy, love, and even faith. Writer and speaker Ethan Renoe shares his story of how pornography distorted his view of women, relationships, and connection—and how God began restoring his heart.
Growing Up in the Church
I grew up in the church all my life. With my dad being a pastor, I grew up knowing the evils of the lust of the eyes and the treachery of adultery. After high school, I worked with several mission organizations before attending Moody Bible Institute.
All that is to say, I was mildly shocked to read some of the comments on many of my recent posts.
There Are People Who DON’T Think Porn Is Bad?
I mean, I knew millions of people struggled with it but didn’t realize there were people who genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with it. I got comments telling me to mind my business, it’s not hurting anyone, and it’s just a natural part of life. One friend even told me, “There is no universe in which I don’t watch porn every day.”
As a good Christian boy, the argument is much easier to build. Simply pull from the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus declares, “If you even look at a woman lustfully, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart” (Matthew 5:28).
I wholeheartedly agree with Jesus—because He’s Jesus. But some people see it differently.
There are plenty of great resources that describe the abuse women in pornography receive, its connections to sex trafficking, and the years of recovery after escaping the industry.
But with this post, I want to briefly share three “unscientific” ways porn affected me personally.
Porn Distanced Me From My Friends and Family
Porn is far more exciting than our normal, quiet, everyday lives. These hyper-beautiful, hyper-sexualized people are hooking up every few minutes—and that simply doesn’t happen in real life.
As a result, there have been many times I’ve felt far away from those around me. Like I wrote before, porn dulled my emotions and made me apathetic to the people dearest to me. I didn’t want this to happen, but it was the natural outcome of filling my mind with exaggerated scenes more “exciting” than real life.
I would be in the same room as my friends, but my thoughts were elsewhere.
The Distance Makes You Lonely
As a result, we lose connection with real people. We lose intimacy, and the lack of intimacy causes severe loneliness. This is part of what causes the cycle of addiction—because what’s the fastest way to get rid of our loneliness?
More porn.
