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Why a Healthy Sex Life (if You’re Married) Makes You a Better Leader

sex life pastor leadership

Sexual intimacy might not be your first thought when thinking of leadership skills, but it’s a great way to test your faithfulness in the small things.

While you’ve probably read books about sex and maybe even taken a few quizzes, have you ever correlated sex with your leadership skills? Although having a healthy sex life may not turn you into a superhuman leader, here are five ways a healthy sex life can improve your leadership skills:

1. A healthy sex life removes temptations.

The temptations we face as leaders aren’t just sexual, but temptation takes many different forms. First Corinthians 7:5 encourages married believers to engage in sex, preventing a potential foothold for Satan. Whether it’s the allure of power or money or worldly success, if you are satisfied at home, you will feel less of a drive toward temptation elsewhere.

2. Leaders engaging in a healthy sexual relationship with their spouse will naturally develop stronger communication skills along with grace, humility and gentleness.

These skills are transferable, allowing you to be more effective when interacting with other people. Selfless love is the key to a healthy sex life; if leaders can selflessly love their spouse inside the home, they can selflessly love others outside the home.

3. Sex releases the hormone oxytocin, which triggers endorphins to lessen pain and encourages better sleep.

Energized leaders who have a healthy sex life are more likely to make smarter decisions, increase productivity and are more enthusiastic about their work. Not to mention, happier people tend to be kinder and more gracious people.

4. Leaders with a healthy sex life have lower blood pressure, less stress and higher immunity levels.

Studies have shown males who engage in regular sex reduce their chance of prostate cancer and cut the risk of heart attack in half. This means fewer sick days, better overall health and more work accomplished.

5. Engaging in a healthy sex life gives you a voice to speak on a prevalent topic in today’s world.

Our culture has distorted a healthy view of sex and marriage. By choosing to develop a healthy sex life for you and your spouse, you have the opportunity to share with others a Christ-centered perspective on these issues. A healthy sex life is indicative of a healthy marriage, and we need every leader celebrating and upholding the gift of marriage in our world.

Sexual intimacy might not be your first thought when thinking of leadership skills, but it’s a great way to test your faithfulness in the small things. For those who struggle with health issues, remember that sexual intimacy is not confined to mere intercourse. Try playing with different forms of intimacy to find a creative solution for your needs. If your sex life with your spouse is not healthy, there’s a good chance your leadership could be compromised, but if it’s active and alive—there’s a good chance you’re a better, more confident leader for it.

Margaret Feinberg

Margaret Feinberg

Margaret Feinberg ( is author of some great reads like Scouting the Divine and The Sacred Echo. She loves Coldplay but can’t wait for the skinny jean trend to pass. She asked her social media friends what marks a hipster pastor and their most brilliant responses are found above. You can follow her snark, wit, and wisdom at and help her figure out what to do on Pinterest at

Margaret on ChurchLeaders   Margaret's Website

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