Home Youth Leaders Articles for Youth Leaders How to Deal With People Who Don’t Like You: 3 Relational Tips

How to Deal With People Who Don’t Like You: 3 Relational Tips

how to deal with people

Do you know how to deal with people? How about dealing with people who don’t like you? Read on for guidance on what can be a tricky subject for ministry workers.

Rejection is powerful. When I counsel people, sometimes I hear them say, “I don’t care if people like me, as long as they respect me.” When they say that, it’s an “emotional wall they use to block the hurt of rejection,” according to psychologist Marcia Reynolds.

God created us to be social, and if we’re honest, all of us care if people like us. “The feeling of love, affection and belonging is necessary before we can reach the highest levels of consciousness and wisdom,” according to psychologist Abraham Maslow. He is saying we all need people to survive. So how do you keep from withdrawing when dealing with someone who doesn’t like you?

How to Deal With People: An Ongoing Challenge

Fortunately, you’re not the only one who’s had to deal with this problem. After Nathan had anointed David as the future king of Israel, Saul became his bitter enemy. Like David, all of us, at one time or another, deal with people we don’t like and who don’t like us. Perhaps some people want to do you harm and see you fail.

This is where David was in 1 Samuel 24. His enemy, Saul, wanted to see him dead and spent a considerable amount of time chasing David to kill him. Then one day Saul made a mistake. He walked right into the place where David and his men were without realizing David was there.

Imagine how you might have felt if your worst enemy (or hater) was in front of you and didn’t know you were there. Would you attack that person? Most of us wouldn’t think twice about getting revenge, especially since we’d no longer have to run and hide from them then.

However, David was different. Even though David wanted to stop running and hiding, he wanted to honor God more. Saul was anointed as king by God, and David knew he couldn’t just kill him. Understanding this, David denied his initial thought to kill Saul.

As believers, you too will have opportunities to choose what you want to do and what is right. Devoted followers decide to honor God in every situation and at all times, no matter what. David didn’t kill Saul when he had the chance, and God counted it as honorable. Later in David’s life, God honored him.

3 Tips for How to Deal With People (Even Difficult Ones)

How can you go on living without letting enemies, critics or haters get you down? What if you’re clashing with a difficult senior pastor? Here are three ways for how to deal with people who don’t like you:

1. Try to understand them.

Haters normally have issues with themselves that they refuse to resolve or even acknowledge. What they hate about you:

  • Could be the one thing they hate about themselves.
  • Or what they hate about you could really be what they secretly admire about you.

So when someone has a problem with you, understand that it’s nothing personal with you. It’s their personal issues. Try to walk a mile in their shoes and see things from their perspective. Instead of hating someone, you should feel sorry and compassionate for them.